Clarity in the Foundation of Communication: Awareness

Cathy Wolfenden, Tacktics Co-Owner, with Bandit (L) and Halo (R).

If ever there was a “king pin” in Emotional Intelligence (EI), it would have to be awareness. All aspects of EI fall into two general categories: Personal and Social Competence. None of us can navigate either category successfully if we are not aware of ourselves and accurately aware of other’s emotional make-up. This awareness becomes the cornerstone in the foundation of clear communication, which anchors us in both personal and social competencies.

Ironically, research has shown that upwards of 95% of people think they are self-aware, when in fact, only 10-15% actually are. The Well-Being Foundation for Mental Health Organization says, “the lack of self-awareness is perhaps our most significant enemy to self-growth”. The lack of self-awareness holds us back in work, relationships, and our overall happiness. 

An expression thrown around flippantly is, “you don’t know what you don’t know, until you know”. We often immediately think of specific points of knowledge, technical skills, when we hear this and rarely apply it to our “soft skills”, ie “power skills”. This is because many people are unaware of the fact that power skills, one of them being self-awareness, are trainable! Only when a person becomes aware of how their actions and words affect them, and others, can change earnestly happen.   

With a lack of self-awareness, our day-to-day life can be riddled with negative flare ups.  We may find ourselves having emotional reactions that don’t fit the situation.  This sometimes looks “over the top” or dramatic. We can get defensive with feedback and quick to blame, rather than take responsibility. And, often we regret our decisions- big or small. Additionally, leadership roles take on a boss or “manager only” look, rather than a genuine leader. 

Having the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations will exponentially improve ALL of your relationships. This, then, has a domino effect in your world.  With improved relationships, you will be more successful in your job. As self-awareness develops, so will social awareness.  When we better understand ourselves, we can more accurately read and understand others. Skills such as mindfulness and being present begin to flourish more easily too. As these skills work together, we can more clearly communicate, giving us a strong cornerstone for our Emotional Intelligence. You’ll have better focus on your tasks, work better in your teams, be more efficient, and less stressed.

Horses are one of the most remarkably aware creatures, and scientists are still studying them to this day. When it comes to awareness, horses are inherently masters due to them being a prey animal. They are constantly reading themselves, their herd, their environment, any people near them, etc. to determine if they are safe, because truly their life depends on it. Additionally, horses are social animals, living in herds and obviously having very minimal verbal communication. Their awareness is absolutely vital to communicating with each other. Subtle cues and differences in their non-verbal communication to each other can translate to positives (like “I found food or water) or negatives (like “there’s a coyote on this side of the pasture”). 

(L-R) Chesney, Ebony, Peaches.

While this makes sense in their world and within their herd, the most remarkable part is how this translates across species into humans. In 2016 the University of Sussex conducted a study to determine whether or not horses can read human emotions through human facial expressions. “Psychologists studied how 28 horses reacted to seeing photographs of positive versus negative human facial expressions. When viewing angry faces, horses looked more with their left eye, a behaviour associated with perceiving negative stimuli. Their heart rate also increased more quickly and they showed more stress-related behaviours.” The study concluded that yes, all 28 horses had a functionally relevant understanding of the facial expressions of humans, and what they mean for the horse. When viewing the angry faces, it is important to note that the horses would turn to look at the face with its left eye, because the right hemisphere of their brain (linked to the left eye) is in charge of processing threatening stimuli. So not only are horses able to read human expressions, but they’re able to convert that information into what it could mean for its safety, and then decide what to do with that information. 

When our clients go into the arena alongside a horse, there is a heightened poignancy of awareness. The horse is reading that human, constantly checking in to ensure it is safe. The humans must physically be present to ensure safety, both for themselves, and being aware what signals (non-verbal communication) are they sending to the horse. Likewise, they must be willing to look at themselves- their actions, intentions, etc while working with the horse to get through the obstacles. 

Because a horse can not lie and does not judge a person, clients find it easy to look inwards with a lens of honesty.  The horse gives immediate feedback giving clients opportunities to assess themselves. And then the horse requires clients to try a different approach.  Horses are masters at “power skills” and seek to guide clients to using them well.  So, when the client has an approach that is on-track with the needed “power skill”, the horse is more than happy to oblige and work with the clients to navigate the course.  

This process taking place in the arena is non-threatening and fun.  We love seeing client’s ah-ha moments in their self-awareness. It catapults their personal growth into the next level. Once they have experienced this, they are more likely to honestly identify their shortcomings, recognizing what is actually the cause, and far better at adapting to change in order to prevent or improve the shortcoming.     

The Equine-Assisted Learning (EAL) certified self-awareness course at Tacktics is arguably the most effective way to get on the path of self-awareness. We also encourage clients to journal. This reflective exercise allows opportunity for honest feedback with how emotions influenced decisions and interactions with people- whether positive or negative. Clients can then consider what can be repeated or avoided in the future. 

Similar to what we do with clients at the horse’s side in the arena, we encourage them to pay attention to their emotions in the moment. If a strong emotion is welling up, think about why that emotion is happening.  Look past the face of the emotion to see what is really happening with your response. This is often the sought after “why”.  Why did I react like that? Why did I feel that way?

At Tacktics Galena, we partner with horses to help improve people’s EI.  There are many aspects of EI that feed into our daily life, self-awareness being one of them. When we improve our EI we will improve our life! Tacktics offers training for individuals, teams, groups, and leaders.  We have pre-designed courses in Team Building and Leadership, but also curate internationally certified training specific to the client’s needs; from assessments, to coaching, to chosen courses, to certifications of completed competencies, and retreats. Tacktics is definitely the place to level up your Emotional Intelligence!